For me, becoming a mother wasn’t intuitive. It wasn’t a natural desire of mine. I wasn’t sure if it was something I really wanted. Brett and I loved it being just the two of us. We enjoyed each other’s company and the freedom to just live unencumbered. I also personally felt that children would some how clip my wings.
But oh. How wrong I was.
I love change. I love newness. I lack restraint at times. All the things that I thought made you a lesser mother, I’ve come to learn can help you become a more free spirited woman, and mother.
While living in Puerto Rico I met mothers who surfed well into their pregnancy. Did pop-up art shows. Ran small gift shops full of their handiwork. And brought their little ones on adventures around the globe. They mothered naturally— in the way that felt most natural to them; which was simply an extension of the woman they already were. Not some new person who now embodied values that they thought were becoming of a mother.
It was nothing for them to spend hours lingering in the sand with their kiddos or eating at beachside bungalows while chatting with friends. All without fear that they’d be perceived as unmotivated or not driven. I’d never seen motherhood like this. These were women pursuing their passions, enjoying life, while also making a living.
Though I have shared much of the glamorous parts, I know it wasn’t all umbrella drinks and bikinis for these women. They experienced many of the same relationship and financial struggles that women on the mainland did, but their was this freedom to just be as they navigated it all. There was no denying the realities of life, but they also didn’t allow these realities to overtake every aspect of their being.
I realized that motherhood and life could be simpler. It could be what I made it. Though there still is this ringing in my ears at times that tells me as mother I should do/be this or that, I’ve learned that the orderliness of my home, the popularity of my clothes, and the number of followers I have on social media is of no real value. Those are the things that actually clip your wings. And those things, they affect mothers and non-mothers alike.
I’ve committed to living out motherhood in my own way. I’ve decided to surround myself with a tribe of like-minded women who realize life is an adventure that musn’t be displayed at every turn for others to “like” or dislike. I’ve allowed myself the freedom to truly live, something I would have never experienced had I not witnessed such beauty in motherhood on that rich island. I now realize that as a mother I have the ability to share this reality with my own Little Women. To remove the fear and stigma attached to mothering.
So, here I’ve created a list of 5 tips we can each implement that will give us more freedom within our motherhood and life journey:
ONE. Admit reality. Whatever it is that you’re going through or experiencing, just claim it. Don’t make assumptions or predictions about where it will lead or the outcome it will have, just rest in your reality.
TWO. Think about the life that you do want. Eliminate ideas about what is popular and mainstream. Where is it that you’d like to be? Write it down in detail.
THREE. Write down three things that you’ll need to do to get closer to your ideal reality. Don’t worry if it seems impossible. Write it down.
FOUR. Share this with a dependable friend. Talk it out with her.
FIVE. Remember you are strong, capable, and brave
Have you had any realizations along your journey to becoming a mother? Are you considering growing your family but have fears about what it will mean? I’d love to hear from you. Please leave a comment below. I always reply.
I thought you might also love this sweet video message from Expectful.
p.s. Me and my Little Women have a message in their for you too!